I live with some funny people and laugh a lot because they're in my life. Most of these are "Paugie Logic" scenarios, but there are a few others included.
Paugie has been saying for days that he really wants to get a cottage. Today, I asked him why. He said, "because I want to learn how to make cottage cheese."
George and I were talking this morning and I said, "I have to say I'm not excessively disappointed." Overhearing our conversation, Madigan innocently responded, "how come you're not esexually disappointed?" I choked on my drink and laughed so hard I cried. George - never missing an opportunity - added, "because you're married to me!"
"Mama, I see elk! Look! You have to stretch your eyes out to look and see them. Stretch really far." Picture it.
As we passed a 75 year old couple driving on their 4-wheeler through the woods, Paugie said, "Mama! They looked even younger than you!" And he said it to compliment them! How can anyone be so kind and insulting at the same time?! :-)
"Madigan you need to stop repeating yourself because it's annoying and repetitive." Obviously.
"Clouds are like magical waves in the sky. If only we had a rowboat." True that.
Paugie: "I wish my bike had a kickstand." Madigan: "there are certain circumstances in which I find a kickstand to be inconvenient and less than functional." Perhaps Madigan's compelling argument will disuade his brother's misguided perception of what he desires. Then, maybe Madigan will start talking like a 7 year old. :-)
As he held the door open for me, Paugie said, "Mama, I want to be a gentleman. It's my part to play in the world." You need to stop. You're too much.
"Mama, don't you love tomato chips?" "You mean, potato chips?" "Yes, tomato chips. I love them."
"I think we should celebrate my ability to ride my bike without training wheels again today. The more ice cream I eat, the more stabilized I become on my bike."
"Mama, Watch and Stop sound the same. I think they're in the same family."
"Girls pee smells worse because they are more beautiful than boys. That's why Fancy and Devany's pee smells worse than ours."
"Mama, I ran to catch up with you, and I told myself I could. So, I could. Then, I got scared that a bear might be behind me, so I started hopping, because bears don't like hopping. It intimidates them." Wilderness advice for today.
"Oh, I love this song. It takes me back to the old days when I was young. Brings back so many memories." Whilst listening to Johnny Cash.
Madigan: (with much force) "Mama, we need to ride today, or it will be two days without riding!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Then, under his breath) That's really criminal!"
Kelton has finally grown out of his favorite phrase: "butt crack". Unfortunately, his new go-to is: "bare butt" (sometimes, used in sentences such as: "Bare butt power!"). We diligently correct him and offer the alternative phrase: "Teddy bear". It's completely hilarious when he corrects himself mid-sentence: "Bare... teddy bear!" #howtohousetrainwildernessmen
One morning while Ankie Tae was visiting, Paugie was cold so she asked him which blanket he wanted. He said, "that one, because it doesn't catch on my nose hairs when I rub it on my face." For real.
Thank you my sweet Eryn. I was laughing right out loud at my desk at work. I had to share.
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