It is well after 9:00 PM and I'm still not surrounded by the silence I am craving at this exact moment. Why are the smallish humans not entertaining deep slumber? Why are there (yes, and their) voices around me drowning out the potential quiet? Tears (from Mommy). Why is it always so much harder when Daddy is gone? Tears (from Mommy). How can I crush the irritation that seems so willingly available at the surface of my being? Why did the puppies think that tearing apart a (huge) bag of potting soil and shaking it around the entire house would please me? Instant tears from Mommy. Why did it take an entire hour (which - sit down for this one - I didn't have to spare) to clean it up? Why is Lochlan pooping in his pants again, after almost two weeks of FOR REAL potty training success??? Definitely a lot of tears from Mommy. Why has there been so very much bickering and tattling throughout this day/week? Why did my horse think the water needed to be tipped over? Why were there 11 loads of laundry to do today? Really? Why? Why do I miss my sisters so insanely much every day? Why can't that get easier? Why does our abismal (WHY CAN I NOT SPELL ABYSMAL?!!!!) human nature gallop us headlong into the ugly part of ourselves? Why can I not come up with any creative, delicious, fast, healthy, low carb, reliable and well appreciated breakfasts on the fly (#Imsotiredofeggs)?
The frustrations from the day put a little shadow on the perfections that exist, always around me. The beauty, the companionship, the abundant life/energy, the deep (everlasting) friendships, the simple delights caught in a thousand moments in every day...
So, be off with the shadows! On to the snoring puppy (that I almost love again), George Winston playing "Joy" in the CD player, the smell of my Fancy horse (who got a healthy dose of tummy rubbing from Mama) on my hands, the peep-peeping from the happy duckling in the garden, the bear hug from Paugie reminding me that some love is truly boundless, the crescent moon and bright planet looming over the darkness of the Peaks, the soft rug enveloping my tired toes, and the promise of sleep in a bed I'm craving. :-)