Friday, March 30, 2018

We take ducking to a whole new level

I hear peeping and a great deal of splashing sounds from the garden area on the other side of the kitchen and I smile because this newest baby to join our family is a snuggly duckling with a case of adorable that is probably already outlawed.

Paugie accompanied me to TSC to pick up some horse feed, and as soon as we entered the building, I knew we were in danger. I carefully steered him out of the direct line of the ducklings and over to the chicks. He admired them appropriately and was content to be about our original task. I was less successful on our exit route, however, and when his big, beautiful, eyes (seriously, have you SEEN his eyes? No probably not because his lashes are so long) lighted upon the ducklings, our future was written. He temporarily stopped breathing and (subsequently) breathlessly said, "Mama!!! Ducklings!!!" His reaction was so palpable that the other 8 people watching the chicks stopped, stared at me and then (knowingly) smiled. I was toast, and they all knew it.

In the checkout line, Paugie had three people doubled over, laughing, because his gratitude was so effusively expressed. "Mama, all my dreams have come true!" "Mama, thank you so much for bringing me here!" "Mama, I've wanted this more than anything MY WHOLE LIFE!". And he really wasn't exaggerating. As I unloaded items into our truck, the fireman who had been standing behind me in line walked over and said, "that made my whole day. I have no words." :-)

So, like all normal humans, we, of course, have a duck garden in our house now. The "herb" garden has a new keeper.

Paugie was emphatic that Lucky Lochs (I was informed that Lochs is the family name) would need to accompany us on our future adventures (which are likely to be many, I shouldn't be surprised), so we found a duck bag suited just for the occasion(s). Lucky, literally, accompanies us everywhere.

Since potty training ducks is something of an impossibility (and we really are already inundated with individuals who have yet to value the merits of pooing and peeing not just everywhere), we opted for duck diapers. Sadly, we do not yet have a photo to include those little treasures, as special order items take a pee wee bit longer to acquire.

It became quite apparent from night 1 that Lucky does not like to sleep alone, so we found an obliging teddy bear (everyone was very surprised to hear that we found a teddy bear in my house) to adopt her. Anytime that Lucky is feeling apprehensive, or fatigued, or just plain snuggly, that teddy bear is the go-to.

And the duck jokes have taken over us and our extended family to an obscene level. You have been warned.

PJ Moose is smitten! She's always wanted to be a mama duck, so, it turns out we've made all her dreams come true as well. It's a win-win! She licks the baby, nuzzles it, cleans it's bottom - all those things mommies love doing. 

The first night that Lucky was home, all the boys slept in the living room to "make sure the baby doesn't get scared all alone." It was a purely altruistic endeavor. Obviously. 

It's true. This snuggly duckling is addictive! 

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

400 hamburgers

I've been sitting, staring at a blank page for about 20 minutes, but my mind is full. I wish I could take the thoughts/memories of this human that have been cantering through my mind, and lasso them all into words so that you can know them as I do, and so that I can remember them when time fades the memories into shadows. I laugh. All. The. Time. because my "tiny human" has a perspective on all things that challenges the limitations of my own imagination. 

As we pulled into In&Out, he confidently corrected the employee who was attempting to confirm our order and clarified that we had, in actuality, ordered 400 hamburgers and that we would like "many, many french fries made out of tomatoes". 

He galloped over to me with his latest K'nex creation and said, "If we have an ice cream shop built in the shape of an 'X', I am going to work in the middle, right here." I told you... thinks outside the box (or square). 

At the 753rd potty stop on our return trip from Phoenix, Kelton declared: "Let's pee at the same time. It's more manly. 1. 2. 3. Go!" 

In his complete frustration with something unreasonable I had done to him, he tearfully announced: "I so mad I gonna' frow up!" I get that a lot. 


Keddo, you are a great (now, 4 year old) man. You embody enthusiasm about all things great and small. You infect each of us with wonder because you are full of it. You fear no great adventure and you give us all fire with the spark that burns within you. There is not another you in this world and I love you for it. Remember to find who you are made to be and do it/be it with all your heart, soul, mind and body. 

Monday, March 19, 2018

We will not be able to work this out!

My life. 

It was a grueling 2 years weeks, with Daddy away and Mommy's sanity evading her a good portion of the time. Week 1 was by far the most intense because there was poop - so much poop. It wasn't unexpected, per se, as potty training a human whilst also potty training a puppy are likely to produce creative outlets (quite literally) for such unwanted substances, but we seriously escalated the potential. By a lot. Even Sabina joined the fun and made her own contributions (for three very long nights: "hello diarrhea"). I will spare you the details, and you should thank me. Suffice to say, I will mentally never be the same. :-)

Oh look! A Scottish Moose. At the table. Hmmm. Shortly after this picture was taken and I turned my back, she inhaled Kelton's kale and broccoli, which he had been suffering through for some time. When he returned from his bathroom run to find it missing, he flailed himself onto the couch, wailing, "My lunch! It's GONE!" (I guess he forgot that it was much to his relief). 

I feel like this battle on the home front is being lost, one cute face at a time. "No dogs on the furniture!" "Sure Mama, I got this. I will not let any (of the other) dogs on the furniture." 

They might not look exactly alike, but they sure do love each other. 

In the midst of crazy, I decided to take some sugar out of our diet, add some kale, eggs, butter and exercise. Lochlan had about 3 days of wailing, but has finally bid his sugar buddies adios and though he periodically looks back, he is marching forward to the tune of lots of fresh green foods, fat and protein. He still brings me the maple syrup bottle in moments of nostalgia, but has resigned himself to the lid remaining immobile.

Though drama does not run in the genetic line of this family, at all, it sometimes makes a surprise appearance in all of us. In this photo, Kelton was "hot and 'bout to throw up" because his window wouldn't roll down and it was 32 degrees outside. Obviously, that's also why he wears short sleeve shirts, shorts and snow boots; covering all the bases. 

Upon Daddy's return at the conclusion of this marathon, I hid all weekend, from my family, myself, everything and everyone. I hid on the back of my horse. :-) It was glorious! I didn't have cell service most of the time and kept it that way. I needed to think my own thoughts (like, a COMPLETE thought) and breathe air coming from between my horse's ears. #soulrestored

It's a requirement that all media related anything die while George is away. So, in accordance, the internet came on for 1-2 hours each day, making movie babysitting (movies for the children) impossible, blogging impossible, communication with other larger human beings completely impossible... you get the picture. Then, my computer died. Completely. Then, my phone ran out of data, just to make sure that I wasn't tempted to actually check something online, like, I don't know... my Airbnb business emails. I'm happy (and annoyed) to report that upon George's return to God's country (home) it was all magically restored. Alas.

On the quiet evenings (that was a funny, put in there just for you), I decided to read. The booger I found on page 17 was rather unwelcome, but not solely unexpected. 

At some juncture in the march of time, I overheard Kelton and Madigan squabbling about something ridiculous. I suggested to Kelton that they try to work it out and be kind to one another, to which he replied: "We will NOT be able to work this out!!!!!!!!!!" The impasse lasted almost 5 minutes. Intense. 

As Paugie so eloquently, and frequently, reminds me: "We were meant to love each other and I'm so glad." Truth. 

Tuesday, March 06, 2018

It was the prairie dogs

Yes, I'm wearing a tiara. It's my mom uniform. 

I have a million things to put into words, and yet the words elude me. Nothing - officially nothing - is in my brain. The happenings of this very insane day have left me fragmented... the three interruptions I've had from the "you're supposed to be sleeping" humans since I wrote the sentences above, remind me why de-fragmentation is positively important for computer human function.

I rode my horses with my sister this past Saturday and within 20 minutes I rediscovered a part of myself, I had a clear and complete stream of thought and I found a joy deeply embedded within myself. My happy pony was doing Spanish Riding School moves beneath me, expressing herself through dance and exuberance, but never putting me in harm's way. Her antics reflected our mutual feelings in the moment. :-)

George is in Miami for the week again, so of course Lochlan downed some whipping cream right before bed last night and his earnest vomiting persisted until the sun began to peak upon the horizon. I decided this day was not going to be a reflection of last night's challenges, so I set about an attempt to restore a photograph on my wall this morning. As I removed it from the wall where it hung, the frame splintered into various pieces in my hands. Instead of restoring the photograph (which has warped and wrinkled over time), I settled for super glue and gorilla tape and hoped measurable success did not continue to avoid me for the remainder of the day.

I had started a load of laundry in the cabin in preparation for our guests' arrival tonight and when I walked over to check on it, I discovered that the imbalanced washing machine had taken a walk across the bathroom, spreading spilled laundry detergent and dirt about the floor. I put the washing machine in hand cuffs and placed it back where it belonged, cleaned the mess, and was partially through the remainder of the preparations when the guests arrived early - quite early. I went out to greet them, only to discover that the boys had let the dogs (my Mom's three dogs and my three dogs = yep, 6 dogs) into the yard and they were happily greeting all of the guests. Fortunately, these guests have been here before and are familiar with the circus our family and were gracious beyond measure. I quickly placed all canines back into their correct places (on the other side of the fence), dashed into our house to start another load of sheets, and headed back to the cabin only to discover that Lochlan had decided to also greet the guests sans clothing, letting all the dogs back into the cabin yard. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! The guests were amazingly charmed and again gracious as I rounded up the circus and headed them back into the general direction of "NOT HERE"! Mom and I finished the cleaning in record time, I'm happy to report, and I'm sure this will be an encounter our guests are unlikely to forget.

I re-entered our house to discover Kelton had drowned the bathroom and upon my inquiry into the situation, he confidently announced, "It was the prairie dogs." "Honey, the prairie dogs are still hibernating" I reminded him. "No, they woke up to do this," he stated.

So, I shall choose this night to not think about the 5 loads of laundry still awaiting me, the horses' dirty pen that needs attention, the spilled dirt on the floor from where Kelton "helped" move dirt from the flower pot into the garden. I shall tiptoe around the bird seed scattered across the floor from Paugie's attempt to fill the bird feeder. I shall whip some whipping cream for my decaf coffee, outside on the porch in the darkness, so that Lochlan doesn't emerge (yet again) from his bedroom for a taste. I shall ignore the dishes piled in my sink, though they haunt my peace. I shall hold my sweet puppy as I close my eyes and just try to be silent and still. I shall pretend that all my children are quietly asleep in their beds. I shall hold to hope, though fatigue darken my outlook.

This girl has the right idea. 

Aberdeen's first ride on horseback. She was a superstar. 

Just. Stop.