Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Mama H and her copper-colored filly

Just celebrated two big birthdays for two of the girls in this household! 

Fancy That

20 years next to her. She totally changed my life.

Every minute she's in my life is one I treasure.

Devany Fair

5 years loving her. 

She is wild and wonderfully predictable. 

My copper-colored filly is a gem. 


You sleep and I am utterly mesmerized. 
I want for you all that life in this broken world does not promise.
Your heart is so full of hope and abundant joy. 
You never hesitate to question that which you do not approve. 
If I could pave the road for you, remove the speed bumps, 
equip you to foresee every danger before you're upon it, 
guard you from every harm, I would. 
If I could open every good thing to you, give you joy everlasting,
make the days for you be sunshine, and fill your life with love, only, I would.

Always run {the race set before you} and when you are too tired to run, 
keep moving forward, even if you must resort to a crawl. 
Rely on those He gives to you {including your brothers}.
You are my tiny human and I'm completely in love with you.

Thursday, May 05, 2016

As darkness descends

the boy club is racing around the porch with dump trucks in hand. Jevy is practicing a gentle canter, deciphering whether the canter or the trot is more efficient. Madigan is full steam ahead at a dead gallop. Paugie is consistent with one pace - his own (something between a gentle trot and a walk). Kelty may be the smallest, but he has discovered that keeping to the inner circle on the loop gives him a definitive advantage in keeping pace with the bros. They should be in bed, I know. Something tells me that these gallops in the cool air and the almost darkness are good - deep down. It's on their faces, each one.

As we played in the rain yesterday, I thought to myself that there is a certain wonder in it all - the loud splatter of the puddles, the laughter, the rain drops dripping off eye lashes, the mud covered bodies and energy of the whole process. Water is not always so pleasant or welcome in my days, however, and each of my darlings seems to gravitate toward it's negative use in his own unique way. Madigan is persistently manning the outside hose in the general direction of his brothers as we prepare to leave the house (i.e. when dry clothes would be much appreciated). I have decided to put a recording of myself saying, "Paugie, turn off the water" on auto repeat for the countless hours that he spends in the bathroom washing his hands and everything else in the bathroom. Jevy has taken up permanent residence at the kitchen sink where he submerges everything within reach if there is any dishwater present - hence my cleaning routine has been substantially altered. Kelty is a refrigerator water terror. The fridge water must remain on lock down at all times, or the kitchen and the underhappenings of the fridge sit in a rather daunting puddle lake.

I find these days are filled with so much joy and fulfillment in conjunction with the challenges of human nature colliding with human nature. It is a perfect training ground for us to each learn how to love more relentlessly, to forgive readily, to give even when it's painful, and to try, try again to do better tomorrow. I think life gives us ample opportunity to find the end of ourselves and realize we must take another step forward. Though these small(ish) humans have yet to discover their limitations, they readily display the aspects of themselves which may afford them challenges ahead.

Madigan's impulsive willingness to take command and implement what he perceives is required - a strength to be sure, as long as he doesn't mow down everyone else in the process. He must learn to take into account the others who are placed alongside him, value their feedback, carefully weigh their opinions, help equip them, encourage them (as every great leader would), and rally them for his cause.

Paugie's gentle self relies quite heavily upon others to assist when he encounters tasks he would rather not face - and he readily falls to pieces when assistance is not offered. He must realize that he is incredibly strong, and with the countless hours he has had to deflect the onslaught of the ferocious tiger he lives alongside, he has had and will continue to have much practice in using his strength to bring about much good. That strength combined with his kindness toward and insight into others will make him invaluable to the world of which he is a part.

Jevy's obsession with learning and understanding the nature of how things work, how the world spins around him, why it must be as it is - it sometimes makes him forget to take into account the human hearts around him and their need for him to be present and participating. He must remember to love, first, to share the reflections of his beautiful heart with those around him, even as he solves the problems of the world and makes it better because he's in it.

Kelty is confident and exuberant about waking up in the morning and living out the day ahead, and he relies too heavily upon his own self will, charm and seemingly unstoppable capabilities. He must remember to lean upon those around him (his brothers, for example), to seek their advice, to ask for assistance when he needs it, to remember that they are more important than any plan he might have in creation in his brilliant mind. He, too, can change the world, so he must remember to hold the hands of those who love him fiercely - those he can trust with every fiber.

Sunday, May 01, 2016

It's not your story.

Paugie was being reprimanded for an ill choice and Madigan asked me what the full repercussions of Paugie's poor decision might be. I said, "Madigan, it's not your story. It's Paugie's story and the repercussions will be his, not yours." 

As we painted another part of this dear old house, Madigan unexpectedly remarked: 
"Mama, every person has a story." 
"That's true" 
"But, Mama, I think that every person has a song, too." 
"What do you mean?" 
"Well, they each sound different and play out their song differently... " 
"Right, you mean like everyone's song has a different tune, and theme and volume?" 
"Yeah, like that." 
"Do you think God is the writer of their song?" 
"I think so, but I'm writing it too. Like, we're writing it together."
"That makes sense. And you live your life alongside others like Paugie and the rest of your brothers, and He's writing their songs too. So, when you're working alongside your brothers your songs can play in harmony." 
"What's harmony?" 
"Well, the easiest way to describe it is notes that sound better when they're played together." 
"When Paugie and I argue, we don't sound good together." 
"Right. In music that would be dissonance." 

You are such a thinker my Tiger. Remember, God writes your song, but he adjusts it according to who you are. It's your song and He's writing with you and because of you. I love your song!