Fantastic Four

These little men have captured my heart and they just keep making me fall more deeply in love with them each day, as I watch them care for one another. They grow every day - sometimes I think I can actually see it happening right in front of me - and watching them do it it alongside one another brings me so much joy. 

From today: 

Madigan as he looked at Kelton sleeping in my arms: "Oh, poor baby. He needs me." Then, once he had procured his prize into his arms: "Oh, Mommy, he's sooooooo cute." 

When Kelton and I snuggled into Paugie's tent to tuck him in for his naptime, Paugie wrapped his blanket securely around baby brother and stroked his wee head until sleep over came them both.

Jevy climbed over to the couch where I was holding baby K and threw himself on top of both us for some quality smothering and kisses. I think Kelton might have found it slightly overwhelming, at first, but he quickly adapted.  

Biggest to littlest

That tender heart

Happytown forever!

Mr. Incredible

To sleep: Fold yourself up

Where'd you get that baby?

Our beloved Kelton Caleb joined in the family fun on March 21st, much to our delight. He's fully prepared to hold his own in this pack of brothers, weighing in at 10lbs, 6oz, and 22 inches tall. The labor and delivery with him was the best so far, with no complications. For those of you who care for such details, it was 8 hours long with 10 minutes of pushing. We stayed in the hospital for 24 hours and then were finally able to return home and start our new normal here with the whole gang. Kelton is incredibly peaceful, fussing only when he's hungry (well, starving, since you know you just can't feed a growing man enough), or needs to burp. I've had some trouble getting him to burp and when I mentioned it to Daddy, he said: "Well, he's got to have one flaw". Truly spoken. :-) I think the biggest danger we have with this addition to our family is getting absolutely nothing productive accomplished because he's just too dang cuddleable. I guess there are worse things in life.

When Madigan came to meet his littlest bro in the hospital, he said, "Oh, hi mom! Where'd you get that baby?" He was pretty excited to find out it was THE baby Kelton he'd been waiting on for so many weeks/months. Paugie ran toward me with a huge smile on his face, climbed onto the bed, grabbed the baby and said, "I want to hold it, Mommy!". He didn't let go until they left the hospital and the grin did not leave his face (until they left the hospital - at which point screaming abounded). He keeps telling everyone, "Shhh, quiet. My baby is sleeping". Jevy was slightly less than thrilled to have Mommy's and Daddy's (further) divided attention and did not immediately smother the little tyke in warm fuzzies. He is, however, adapting well and I think he's even starting to believe he's still rather profoundly loved, in spite of having the additional competition for affection/attention. His smile has returned and he's up to nothing but mischief as usual, while frequently stopping in at Mommy station for a kiss or hug as he's passing through.

George and I cannot believe how blessed we are/feel as we look around at these little men who seem to fully surround us now. Sure, there have been a few moments of total and absolute chaos, but those moments are quickly overtaken by the energy and wonder that accompanies this much boyhood in one place.

Waiting (while in constant motion)

As I sit here, I realize that I seem to be in a perpetual holding pattern of waiting (impatiently) for Baby K's entry into this world. His constant kicks and bounces are a reminder that he, too, is anxious for less restrained activity, though he apparently thinks that things are a little too comfy at this point to make any rapid entry into the unknown world that awaits him. So, here we await the arrival of this very-much-loved boy into our world.

Lochlan and Madigan are playing on the porch, in the sunshine, running dirt from one location to the next with their dump trucks and trains. Lochlan is in constant observation of his hero - big bro. He pushes his train, tentatively walking on those new-found legs of his, glancing up at the door every so often to make sure I'm marveling appropriately. Madigan burst through the door exclaiming, "Mommy, come see my footprints! They're wonderful!" The delight of such simple discoveries as one's own footprints in the dirt, is so infectious. To be so easily marveled is such a gift that children are blessed with. I pray, often, that I will be able to encourage that curiosity and wonder in these little hearts as they grow/learn in this life they are given.

Declan has been on a bumpy stretch of pathway in his life these past few weeks, with his own ideas (ideals?) challenging nearly every one else's. We've been consistently reminding him that there are some things that really are non-negotiable (like wearing clothing on a day of arctic temperatures), and there are some things that he has valid say in (i.e. he's entitled to his own opinions). That line is a tough one that we seem to each bump up against throughout our lives, but when you're two years old, it's just absurdly frustrating and difficult. His tender heart makes me smile constantly, even during the most trying portions of our day. He's always game for a good snuggle, hug, kiss, or act of kindness which he can bestow upon one of us. I actually think his eyes sometimes sparkle!

As Virginia and I hiked along a steep trail with Madigan last weekend, he started to lag behind slightly, chatting to himself quietly. Then, he looked up, moving into a gallop to catch up with us and said, "Not a good time to think." Yes, he's his father's son. Madigan's journey into maturity continues to astound me, but every so often he "regresses" into 4-year old-hood and I can't help but chuckle. A few days ago, after I chastised him for snatching a coveted toy from Declan in the car, he announced with a pungent scowl: "I'm going to get out of my car seat, sit on the floor and be disagreeable". I reminded him that such a decision might not go so well for him.

My beautiful Devany

It's hard to express just how much delight this horse brings me. She will be three this coming May, which means SADDLE TIME! I will probably wait until August to actually ride her, since I have quite a bit more ground work I'd like to do with her pre-riding (work I haven't been able to do since being pregnant). She has her momma's sweet nature and her father's boldness, so I think she's going to be SUPER FUN to ride/spend my life with. She is incredibly curious about everything and so far I haven't found anything that she's truly terrified of (always a good thing with regard to a 1000 lb. critter that you're planning to sit on top of). Every day when I go see her I imagine what it will be like to take her on a long ride through the woods. The stuff (my) dreams are made of. :-)

(Thank you to Elizabeth Larum for the photos!)

Don't use that shampoo

While holding up my bottle of Aussie Mega shampoo, Madigan informed me: "Mommy, you can't (with a British accent) use this shampoo anymore."  When I queried him for the reason, he replied. "Because kangaroos make it." Still perplexed, I asked him why that would be a problem and he said, "They use too much garlic (again, with a British accent)." So, consider yourself warned.

Paugie started doing the potty dance, so I trotted him off to use the "facilities". As he stood there, he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, it won't come out. It just doesn't want to." I encouraged him to "keep trying" and maybe it would come. He said, "No, Mommy, it's happier inside." I guess he knows best.

Jevy has been practicing his mountain climber skills, with the assistance of the very obliging crazy white dog, any accessible couch/chair, bookshelves and anything that is tall enough to give him a boost. I think a helmet is in order for permanent future use - maybe I'll let him take it off when he goes to college - because his head is the perpetual victim of his unending shenanegans.

I know this a common observation among parents, but it is utterly astounding how different these three siblings are from one another. A few examples from this week: The wheels in Madigan's head are in CONSTANT motion (a trait from his father, perhaps?).  When I put him down to "rest" (given that he's been anti-nap since his arrival into this world - including in utero), he emerged 5 minutes later and said, "Mommy, I can't rest. My thinking won't stop." Jevy's linebacker physique gives him an edge in this world of older brothers, but he is almost too happy/easy going to use it to his advantage. He follows his brothers around, mimicking them and laughing with them, but rarely fusses about things not going his way. He doesn't just need to be cuddled multiple times daily, he needs to climb all over you, smothering you with kisses, patting your head with his massive paws and giggling. Sometimes, he will just climb on top of you and lay his head on your shoulder. He's super happy and super busy for the majority of his day. Paugie is sensitive (both negatively and positively), caring/kind, keenly aware of others (and their needs) around him and highly opinionated. Sometimes, when I hand him his cup of milk, he will stubbornly refuse to take it, but if I ask him to please take the other cups to his brothers as well, he'll happily take the brothers their cups and then accept his own. He always needs to feel useful/helpful. Anytime I'm wiping the countertop, sweeping the floor, or doing the laundry, he asks to help and doesn't stop helping until the task is finished. If I yawn he says, "Mommy, you tired?" They each show their own level of awareness in their surroundings: Madigan, to details - astounding details - that he doesn't miss. Lochlan, to the whereabouts of (all) his people at all times. Paugie, to the actions/emotions/needs of others.
(Thank you to Elizabeth Larum for the photos below)

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My excuses to wake up in bad mood

disappeared when I saw these precious faces this morning.

Gettin' my Nashville on... (sort of)

I blame this infernal dismal weather, but yesterday I couldn't help myself.

Since moving to Tennessee, I've struggled with what I perceive to be "southern charm" - syrupy sweetness that is only surface deep. I've met so many incredibly (way incredibly) sweet people who greet me warmly, but don't have time for meaningful relationships that hold depth. Enough of that soap box... that's just background.

As I marched through Costco on a mission and a desired time frame by which to complete that mission, I saw a lady farther up in the isle stop a perfect stranger and tell her hi, and how much she wanted to bless her. The other lady clearly found the moment awkward, being caught off guard and not knowing exactly how to respond; she moved along as quickly as she politely could. I knew "blessings woman" would stop me because people just seem to have a harder time walking past me without staring, commenting, smiling or cringing these days thanks to my protuberant waistline (who am I kidding - the waistline long since disappeared - let's go for abdomen). I whizzed by her, hoping for escape, but to no avail. As I passed her, she exclaimed, "Well, hi there!" (as if we'd known one another for years). I spun around and lit up my face in an exuberant smile, as I would upon seeing a dear friend from the past. I exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, hi!" Then, I ran up and hugged her and said, "How are you? It is SO INCREDIBLY GREAT to see you!". A troubled look washed over her face and she stuttered, "Oh... yeah... I... I just wanted to bless you." Pause... I re-assured her, "It is so wonderful to see you, again." I left her hesitantly as I would a dear friend, while I watched her rush her husband along, and as quickly out of Costco as she could. It is unnerving to wrestle with "how" you know someone and where you know them from when you just have absolutely no recall on the matter.

I did feel (slightly) cruel and I was terribly delighted at the same time. If I'm going to be universally charming, it better be sincere and not (deeply) meaningless.

Mud, boogers and other boy stuff

This Arizona girl is taking advantage of every moment of sun I can get on this warm winter day. I've realized, lately, how much the dreary (and unreasonably cold, if you ask me) weather affects my general outlook on life. So, if a sunny day stalks up on us, we're sure to be found on the porch, basking (or playing, as it were) in the rays.

Madigan is filling his wagon with dirt, thanks to the help of his trusty dump truck, while Paugie digs a "mote" next to the castle he built in the dirt pool. Jevy is tasting the tractor - delicious! Each of them has come to me to comfort one injury or another (so far, I've kissed the bottom of a very dirty foot, dug mud out of somebody's ear, and washed plant particles out of somebody's mouth) but all-in-all, this outdoor activity center has been a success today. When Paugie came up to wipe his paws on my clean shirt, that moment of sheer disbelief/irritation passed quickly enough as I reminded myself that it's just a shirt and it's actually pretty great that he thinks of Mommy as his general go-to for what's needed. I know it won't always be that way, so I'm going to treasure these days.

This morning, the boys came in to "stuggle" (according to Paugie) before getting on with the day. Madigan was sneezing, so I asked him if he wanted to blow his nose. After he declined, I said, "it sounds like you've got some boogers you need to blow out." He confidently informed me, "No, I don't have any boogers. I ate them all." George and I looked at each other with a weighty pause (perhaps in disbelief?) and then burst into laughter. George: "TMI!"

Watching

you grow up so fast... I wish I could pause time, savor the sweetness of the moments spent with each one of you, but I know I have to relish them here and now as they are given to me (in what seems like fast forward).

Lochlan: you walked around the house today holding onto one of my hands and you couldn't wipe that proud smile off your face. You kept looking up at my face to make sure I wasn't missing any of your awesomeness - and I wasn't! You may not be confident doing it all by yourself yet, but you're a walking master! When you come to me or Daddy each day and lay your head against us just wanting to be held in a quiet moment (when we sometimes steal some pretty yummy kisses, that's true), we know how special that is and we treasure every chance we get to hold you in those moments. Your quick smile and deep laugh sets the whole household to a different tune. In the morning when I hear your voice, my heart skips a little beat, because I can't wait to see you!

Declan: last night during (seriously post-bedtime) snuggle time, I started talking to you about "this and that". You put your finger to your lips and said, "Shhh, Bundle is sleeping". Then, as I laid my head next to yours on your pillow, you placed your hands on my cheeks and said, "I love you so much, Mommy". The instant tears in my eyes were from overwhelming joy - you melted my heart in that moment. After laying next to you for 10 minutes or so, while you whispered about "this and that", I yawned. You wrapped your arms around my neck pulling me as close as you could and said, "Mommy, you're so tired". Then, you shut your eyes and "pretended" to sleep (with arms still wrapped tightly around me), so that I would take my cue to close my eyes and get some rest. Oh my word...

Madigan: This afternoon, you headed to the bathroom, and paused at the gate to turn around and say, "Mommy, are you sure you don't want to come?" When I assured you that I was going to stay in the kitchen to finish making the cookies you had requested earlier, you said, "Alright then, Mommy, I'll be back in a bit." I think perhaps it was the British accent that made your comments utterly delightful to me. Then, when I sat down on the floor to stretch out my sore muscles, you meandered behind me, wrapped your arms around my neck and laid your head on my shoulder. You are so much my action-man, always on the go, always finding a way to "do" something and when you take those little pauses to love on your brothers, your mommy and your daddy, they mean more than you will ever know.

Baby K: Your consistent poking, kicking, hiccups, bouncing and jostling makes me so excited to meet you. I know you're getting anxious for some more leg room, but just hold on little buddy - only a few more weeks to go. When I came home from the midwife last week, your biggest brother said, "Mommy, did you bring Baby K home for us today?" We're ALL excited to finally get to hold you!

I need a spare...

I need a spare (brain, key, me). Yesterday was confirmation.

With George out of town, chaos always runs a bit more rampant, so I knew to expect some crazies in our household. So, when my friend, Elizabeth, and I headed out to make a run to Trader Joes, feed Devany and get our "fix" at Starbucks, I knew it wouldn't go without a hitch, but I was confident that we could handle it.

The 29 degree temperature made feeding Devany a rather miserable undertaking. I think the other horses in her pasture had bribed her to eat as slowly as possible just to make me miserable, but nevertheless we waited for her to finish every morsel of yumminess in her bucket. Meanwhile, Paugie "had to go potty" so after his first (and, given the role that horses are likely to play in his life, probably not his last) successful potty-in-the-stall move, I carried him to the car, so that we could wait in the warmth with his bros and Elizabeth. He proceeded to pitch a masterful tantrum, clawing at the window, throwing us his head into his carseat, screaming as only a tortured soul can and throwing his milk cup at my head. Mysteriously, I did not find this outburst inspirational enough to let him return to the freezing cold barn where he preferred to be, so off to Starbucks we went.

When we arrived (12.5 minutes after Paugie's previous potty break in the stall), he had peed in his pants/carseat (perhaps the fit of rage had contributed???). As we maneuvered him to the back of the truck for an outfit change, Madigan began frantically announcing that his bladder, too, was on the edge of explosion. Elizabeth finished re-dressing Paugie while I snatched Jevy out of his carseat, placed my keys in my purse and reached out to help Madigan out. While holding Jevy's 38 lb. mass, I decided it might behoove me to leave the extra weight of the purse behind, grab the credit card and run into Starbucks before boy #1 had a bladder explosion. As we walked through the door of Starbucks, I realized in horror that my keys (and my cell phone, my carseats, my brain) were safely locked inside my truck. Awesome. After potty break number 2, I used Elizabeth's cell phone to call Susan - miraculously I actually remembered her cell number! Because she's a saint, she dropped everything she was doing, rushed over to pick up Elizabeth so that they could try to locate the extra set of keys that I felt sure George had left behind while he traveled to CA.

Since I knew the boys would last about 4.25 minutes in Starbucks, we headed over to the neighboring grocery store to do some "shopping" while we waited for Elizabeth and Susan to return with the keys (we hoped). Paugie announced that he had to go potty as soon as we walked in the door, so after wrangling them out of the shopping cart I had just wrangled them into, we all 4 headed into the bathroom where Madigan went (again) and Paugie stated that "it won't come out". So, pants back up, baby off the floor (it's IMPOSSIBLE to help a 2 year old with his pants while simultaneously holding a wiggly 38 pounder on an 8 month pregnant tummy), all hands washed and then back into the cart. Jevy only pulled 8 bags of potato chips off the shelf while I loaded boy 1 and 2 into the cart, so mission accomplished. Off we went in search of (my sanity) and lunch. We meandered slowly throughout the store, trying to kill time, and once we were at the very back corner of the store, Paugie announced that he had to potty again. I think I rolled my eyes and sighed in exasperation, but I bit the sarcasm on my tongue and headed toward the restrooms (again). As I removed Paugie from the cart (again), his foot caught and he lost his shoe. Because I was removing him one handed (still had the 38 pounder in the other hand, at this point) I placed him on the floor so that I could reach for his shoe and help Madigan out. He ran one-shoed for bathroom and after a successful mission (on his part) we re-washed everyone's hands + one foot and I carried Paugie and Jevy back to the cart.

After discovering (through a great deal of searching effort, followed up with a phone call to said hubby) we discovered that George had the spare key in CA. So, we called a locksmith (which will be my FIRST action choice next time I lock my keys in my car, with 3 - oh, wait, 4 - little potty makers in tow) and successfully got my vehicle unlocked. After one last potty run for both boys (NO MORE VANILLA STEAMERS FOR YOU PEOPLE, EVER!!!), we buckled everyone in, nixed Trader Joes from our schedule and rushed home for much-needed-naps (and another potty break or nine, to be sure).

This life = sweet chaos. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

And, for the curious, here is the adventure station (boy's bedroom) in our house:

Dark chocolate is healthy.

"Mommy, Paugie and I are feeling better now." Madigan's announcement as he handed me a significantly devoured (delicious) dark chocolate bar this evening. My worst nightmare come true... 30 minutes before bedtime.

"Bedtime" (we use the term loosely around here as it has various alternate meanings for each member of this household, it seems) has been something of a trial since Thanksgiving. The three cherubs were sleeping through the night without a hitch until the night before Papa Ross' funeral, when "Jevy" toppled off a chair and suffered a concussion. Though Jevy was fine, within a few hours and after thorough examination by Vanderbilt hospital, it rattled our second-born terribly. I'm sure the stress of that previous week (numerous house guests, Daddy's absence, Papa Ross' passing, etc.) was the setup for the perfect storm, but our sensitive Paugie not only stopped sleeping at night, but started climbing out of this bed/crib all night long. After 3 weeks of no sleep, I purchased him a tent to sleep in at night and by the following week, Madigan also acquired his own tent. The boys room has turned into an outdoor adventure, and the sleeping issues have (for the most part) taken a little turn to everyone's satisfaction.

My boys are growing so quickly, I'm almost afraid to sleep at night for fear of what I'll miss. I've realized, recently, how much my words/tones/attitudes affect them. They are all quick to forgive and overlook any offense on my part, but I can discourage them faster than anyone/anything, when I'm not careful. A gentle word or response on my part turns away frustration and wrath on their part, instantly. I've been concentrating on being QUIET when I feel frustration brewing at the surface - waiting to respond when my emotions are not festering. I don't want these little critters to fear their mistakes (which are most often unintentional)... I want to encourage them to know what is right (i.e. sharing a toy is better than hitting baby brother over the head with it when he tries to "borrow" it) and though that will often mean helping them understand the consequences for those actions, I don't have to belittle them in the process, with my tone, inflection and frustration. They are each spectacular creatures and everyday I'm amazed by what I'm learning from them. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of Baby K (Baby #4) as I cannot wait to meet him! And on that note...

Ankie Tae (Krista) was getting ready to head back to Austin after visiting us over Christmas and told Madigan: "I will be back in a few weeks, when Baby K is supposed to come." Madigan thought for a minute and then said, "Can Baby K come out now?" The red head has a special thing for his Ankie Tae.

Lastly, but not leastly by any stretch... Paugie potty trained HIMSELF 5 weeks ago. I think George and I might have put it off indefinitely with one valid excuse after another, but the little man decided it was time and did it on his own in 2 days, with a less than 3-messes quota. Another genius in our midst!