Saturday, January 18, 2014

I need a spare...

I need a spare (brain, key, me). Yesterday was confirmation.

With George out of town, chaos always runs a bit more rampant, so I knew to expect some crazies in our household. So, when my friend, Elizabeth, and I headed out to make a run to Trader Joes, feed Devany and get our "fix" at Starbucks, I knew it wouldn't go without a hitch, but I was confident that we could handle it.

The 29 degree temperature made feeding Devany a rather miserable undertaking. I think the other horses in her pasture had bribed her to eat as slowly as possible just to make me miserable, but nevertheless we waited for her to finish every morsel of yumminess in her bucket. Meanwhile, Paugie "had to go potty" so after his first (and, given the role that horses are likely to play in his life, probably not his last) successful potty-in-the-stall move, I carried him to the car, so that we could wait in the warmth with his bros and Elizabeth. He proceeded to pitch a masterful tantrum, clawing at the window, throwing us his head into his carseat, screaming as only a tortured soul can and throwing his milk cup at my head. Mysteriously, I did not find this outburst inspirational enough to let him return to the freezing cold barn where he preferred to be, so off to Starbucks we went.

When we arrived (12.5 minutes after Paugie's previous potty break in the stall), he had peed in his pants/carseat (perhaps the fit of rage had contributed???). As we maneuvered him to the back of the truck for an outfit change, Madigan began frantically announcing that his bladder, too, was on the edge of explosion. Elizabeth finished re-dressing Paugie while I snatched Jevy out of his carseat, placed my keys in my purse and reached out to help Madigan out. While holding Jevy's 38 lb. mass, I decided it might behoove me to leave the extra weight of the purse behind, grab the credit card and run into Starbucks before boy #1 had a bladder explosion. As we walked through the door of Starbucks, I realized in horror that my keys (and my cell phone, my carseats, my brain) were safely locked inside my truck. Awesome. After potty break number 2, I used Elizabeth's cell phone to call Susan - miraculously I actually remembered her cell number! Because she's a saint, she dropped everything she was doing, rushed over to pick up Elizabeth so that they could try to locate the extra set of keys that I felt sure George had left behind while he traveled to CA.

Since I knew the boys would last about 4.25 minutes in Starbucks, we headed over to the neighboring grocery store to do some "shopping" while we waited for Elizabeth and Susan to return with the keys (we hoped). Paugie announced that he had to go potty as soon as we walked in the door, so after wrangling them out of the shopping cart I had just wrangled them into, we all 4 headed into the bathroom where Madigan went (again) and Paugie stated that "it won't come out". So, pants back up, baby off the floor (it's IMPOSSIBLE to help a 2 year old with his pants while simultaneously holding a wiggly 38 pounder on an 8 month pregnant tummy), all hands washed and then back into the cart. Jevy only pulled 8 bags of potato chips off the shelf while I loaded boy 1 and 2 into the cart, so mission accomplished. Off we went in search of (my sanity) and lunch. We meandered slowly throughout the store, trying to kill time, and once we were at the very back corner of the store, Paugie announced that he had to potty again. I think I rolled my eyes and sighed in exasperation, but I bit the sarcasm on my tongue and headed toward the restrooms (again). As I removed Paugie from the cart (again), his foot caught and he lost his shoe. Because I was removing him one handed (still had the 38 pounder in the other hand, at this point) I placed him on the floor so that I could reach for his shoe and help Madigan out. He ran one-shoed for bathroom and after a successful mission (on his part) we re-washed everyone's hands + one foot and I carried Paugie and Jevy back to the cart.

After discovering (through a great deal of searching effort, followed up with a phone call to said hubby) we discovered that George had the spare key in CA. So, we called a locksmith (which will be my FIRST action choice next time I lock my keys in my car, with 3 - oh, wait, 4 - little potty makers in tow) and successfully got my vehicle unlocked. After one last potty run for both boys (NO MORE VANILLA STEAMERS FOR YOU PEOPLE, EVER!!!), we buckled everyone in, nixed Trader Joes from our schedule and rushed home for much-needed-naps (and another potty break or nine, to be sure).

This life = sweet chaos. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

And, for the curious, here is the adventure station (boy's bedroom) in our house:

1 comment:

teona said...

You seriously leave me speechless!
God bless you Eryn!
Love you, Aunt T