I love you, but I'm definitely going to forget you

Pottery shattered. Again. Another special piece bites bites the dust. I sigh. This is not the season... 

This is not the season for nice things. 

This is not the season for quiet and tranquility. 

This is not the season for rest. 

This IS the season to work hard. 

This IS the season for creativity - creativity is absolutely required in countering Lochlan's continuous string of experiments and fixations. I find myself nurturing creative projects and even though I rarely have time to bring them to fruition, the ideas don't die and I know someday I will bring many of them to life. The creation of the ideas actually gives me strength and hope when the road is impossibly hard. 

This IS the season for a relentless onslaught of challenges. 

This IS the season to face what is unexpected. Constantly. 

This IS the season of wonder - constant wonder! 

This IS the season of discovery. 

This IS the season for throwing breakable items (for Lochlan, at least). He doesn't do it when we're watching, but each day this past week we've lost something we value. It's hard. No, it's impossible. And frustrating. 

Kris was in Boston for the past 5 days, and one evening I was taking Declan and Kelton to a kids club they go to. On the way there I asked Declan to please put a timer on my phone so that I would remember to pick them up when it was over. "I love you, but I'm definitely going to forget you" I told him. We both laughed. 

My boys have the greatest capacity for unconditional love I have ever encountered. They do not hold my weaknesses (which are obvious to them) against me - EVER. They forgive me when I have wronged them. They see where they can fill in the gap to help anyone and everyone and they not only fill that gap, but go the extra mile. And they build others up. Today, after a pretty long day and a lot of challenges with Lochlan, I came in from fixing another fence and I was cold and felt a bit cranky. Kelton met me at the door, opened it for me, hugged me and said, "Oh, my beautiful mom. You are so beautiful to me. I love you and I made you a cup of tea." GAME CHANGER! 

So, we'll get through this season, too, but it can pass in its time because it holds its crazy beauty alongside the impossible.