Galloping through sand

 Am I teachable? When I was a kid, I was always learning, my mind molding each day into something more, my heart open, and I believe my innate desire was to grow and always become more of what I should be. I watch the boys and am constantly amazed by their willingness to learn and become. 

Do I still see in myself a willingness to be changed, to be humbled, to be taught things I should already know? Am I willing to learn from those with less experience? Do I still have the ability to see when I have wronged someone? Do I have a heart that is soft enough to love even when I am wronged? 

Sometimes, I see this look of stubborn, willful determination pass across the face of one of the boys, and it is usually accompanied by an immovable spirit; and it never lasts. It is always ultimately replaced with repentance, or kindness, and almost always a willingness to alter course. 

So, I find myself constantly challenged. Challenged to not be confined to a rut of thinking and acting and responding. Challenged to not allow my expectations to dictate my behavior. Challenged to see the truth that others may understand better than I do. Challenged to live justly, but walk humbly. 

As I have crawled past the difficulties of these past few weeks, I have found strength and encouragement in the unexpected places. Handmade gifts from beloved friends who live too far away. A neighbor offering to bring me paper towels because I never seem to have any. A friend dropping by an entire enchilada dinner for our family as a thank you for my efforts this past year on the mitigation project for our future flooding. A precious note on my coffee cup from my much-loved baristas. Another profoundly perfect gift from my secret friend who has randomly sent me perfect gifts for over 7 years. The little soft stuffed giraffe my boys bought me because I "needed" it. The gift card to a local coffee shop that was placed on my car seat. The log chair I found at the ReStore for $25. Watching the meteor shower put on an incredible show - I saw over 55 in 30 minutes. 

We spent time this week playing on a volcanic sand hill and I couldn't help but notice the correlation between life and that sand hill. We galloped down it with ease and delight but when we went to get back up it, it was one foot forward with little progress. As we persevered each time, we did make it to the top and it was so worth the effort! :-) 

I pray that I am teachable enough to recognize what I have been given. Strength that is not my own. Joy that overwhelms sorrow. Hope that overcomes the burdens. Sunrises that bring dawn from darkness.