Friday, September 14, 2012

Tiger to Tyrant in one dramatic leap

Every day living with a Tiger can offer it's challenges, but I would TOTALLY PREFER it to living with the tyrant who replaced the Tiger today. I don't know exactly when the tyrant took over, but it was somewhere between the barn and Trader Joes. He starts demanding chocolate chips (it's not exactly a part of our every day meal routine, but today it was expected). I remind him that chocolate chips were not on the menu, as we walked into TJs and then loaded the monster into the shopping cart, next to Pauge. Next thing I know, Madigan has dissolved into a hysterical fit and is pawing at Declan as he attempts to get himself removed from the cart. Declan's face gets scratched in the process, resulting in instant tears. Now, everyone in the store has stopped to look at me, with either pity or resentment. Though I am finally able to calm Declan, Madigan is still angry and every time he sees anything he thinks he MIGHT want (cereal bars, chocolate chips, graham crackers, Kefir, raisins, Mac N Cheese, apples, applesauce, frozen burritos, juice and yes, even shampoo) he starts hurtling himself about the cart, yelling loudly. I think to myself, "never in a million years would I have thought that MY child would act like this... I simply wouldn't have stood for it." Now, in the moment, however, I find myself somewhat helpless to remedy the situation my personal monster has created for us all to endure.

Out to the car and now begins the challenge of extracting everyone from grocery cart to Tundra. Oy. Have I mentioned that my truck's backseat is obnoxiously small? Madigan has thrown his shoes across the parking lot (Mommy, don't forget to grab those on your way back from returning the cart to the store), removed the graham crackers from their box and is currently crumbling them into pieces, inside their packaging. I inform him that I need him to get himself into his car seat, since it's so heavy for me to hoist him the distance. He collapses onto the parking lot and starts shouting, "cereal bar, cereal bar" (at least we've moved beyond chocolate chips, right?). I pick him up and place him in his carseat where he starts frantically kicking and hurtling himself onto the floorboard. Ever wrestled a 35 lb. tyrant while 8 months pregnant? By this time, every muscle I pretend to still have is strained and my little Brown Bear is sobbing in the grocery cart because he thinks I've forgotten him. Tyrant buckled in: check.

On the way home, things continue to digress: Tyrant won't leave seat belt straps buckled and when I ask him to re-buckle himself back in, he just looks at me, defiantly. Pull off at next exit, paddle bottom and return tyrant to car seat. At this point, I guess he decides his only option is to scream and yell all the way home, which he does with astounding fervor.

Almost home... Tyrant yells, "Poop! I have to go poop"! I ask if he can make it until we get home, in about 4 minutes. "No, I have to poop right now!" Careen into Starbucks parking lot, place shoes (which I had recovered from TJs parking lot) onto his feet, grab Declan, rush into Starbuck's bathroom, and start getting Madigan ready to "do his business". He says, "whipped cream!" (a treat we often get him when we do our Starbucks dates on the weekend). I remind him WHY we are in the Starbucks bathroom and he again dissolves into a complete fit of rage. I grab his hand and we haul back to the pickup. Repeat the TJs scenario, almost verbatim (including shoes thrown across parking lot) and by the time we reach home, I cannot get him into his bed fast enough! Lunch might have fallen through the cracks for all of us today, but Declan is fast asleep in his bed, the Tyrant is caged in is bed and I... well I am writing this all out to remind myself one day in the future that things are sometimes ridiculously difficult, but we are never given more than we can bear.

I like all things to end on a bright(er) note however, so here are a couple "special moments" that I treasured from this week:
  • Watching Crazy White Dog (Sabina) and Purr Elise (Sabina's cat and constant companion) chasing grasshoppers in the field together this morning. How stinkin' adorable! 
  • Doing my pilates with a brown bear and tiger running between my legs... requires a whole new set of skill and muscle toning! 
  • Getting some cuddle time from Fancy while we were getting her feet trimmed this morning. She had her head resting on my shoulder almost the whole time. 
  • Watching Madigan melt when Pauge crawled over to where he was playing, leaning his head against Madigan's and "kissing" him. Madigan responded by giving Declan a big hug and saying, "Mommy! Paugie loves Bundle!" He's right. 
  • Eating a salad last night with the last few veggies of the season from our garden: bell peppers, cucumbers, basil and tomatoes. YUMMY! 


kmac said...

I know I've said this before, but you're my hero.

smoothskinbydiane said...

What a day! How did you survive without losing your control?

susan said...

Oh how I are a much better mommy than you think....!!! Aren't nap times a wonderful thing!!!!