Ramblings of a tired mind...

We accomplish things sometimes. Sometimes we exceed expectations. Sometimes we fail miserably. Sometimes we run as if we could fly with wings as eagles. Sometimes pulling ourselves out of the mud is required simply to keep us from drowning. Sometimes our dreams come true. Sometimes we're devastated by the unexpected. Sometimes we work diligently and reach goals we set for ourselves. Sometimes... we don't. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose. Sometimes our lives are filled with abundance. Sometimes we lose the ones closest to us and we are lost in the darkness of grief. Sometimes we fight battles that nothing could have prepared us for. Sometimes we lie in wait because the answers are nowhere to be found. 

Some lives are marked by diligence. Some by creativity. Some by kindness. Some by perseverance. Some by courage. Some by loss. Some by pain. Some by profound (and un-explainable) strength. Some by love.

I've been thinking a lot this week about the people who have been a part of filling my life. I've been thinking about friends who have stood alongside me from childhood into adulthood, about family and the complicated (sometimes messy) love that marks it as such. I've been thinking about people I love who are walking alone because of loss, about those who have morphed from acquaintances to become trusted friends and about those far away whom I wish to share life alongside. 

Life is complicated and (for me) it has surprised me at every turn. If I had written a life script as a young human, my deviations on this side from that script would have been undoubtedly appalling and entertaining, simultaneously. Nothing is as I planned it, and in so many ways I'm grateful for that. 

I've always asked myself, "What will you do with the time you're given?" It's a compelling question. I am getting ready to travel to celebrate the retirement of a beloved friend. Kurt, Krista and I grew up together in the White Mountains of Arizona, and we have lived the majority of our lives separated by thousands of miles. And yet, we've never lost one another - we're more like siblings than friends. Kurt has had a full career in the military and he is about to retire from that career path into a new, unknown path forward. I keep referring to his retirement as his "graduation" because I think it was just yesterday that we were 13 year old kids playing basketball together. Kurt's life has (always) been marked by excellence. When life threw garbage at Kurt, he pressed on, took the next step(s) and always went above and beyond, because that's just who he is. His life has been complicated because all of our lives are complicated; and it is a life marked by determination, strength, boldness, kindness, wisdom and yes, even sometimes humility (don't laugh out loud, Colleen). I'm incredibly proud to know Kurt, and to call him my brother and my friend for life. 

Tonight, I walked my hill to think, pray, reflect, grieve, and be reminded of joy that is reflected to me in every way in this creation where I wander.  I was weary but refreshed for having done so. Hence, forgive these ramblings of a tired mind...