Tuesday, January 14, 2025

Migraines and sunsets

 I have so much cantering through my head - thoughts I know that I need to put into writing so that my boys will know and will remember. Finding the time or the place where I can do so is challenging. As the days get longer it will be (only slightly) easier because I can write in the darkness of the earlier morning hours before everyone has awoken. This beloved one room house of ours lacks one luxury: a quiet place. But, alas... 



This life journey for Lochlan has never ceased to be arduous and with each new season comes unique difficulties. He has been struggling against the unwelcome agitation that sometimes plagues him and makes him want to be non-compliant, reactive or destructive. He's actively fighting to keep himself in check, but when something aggravates him or goes against his will/agenda it's so hard and you can see the struggle boiling inside of him. He has also started having migraine headaches. We don't know the exact cause of the headaches, but it's probably a combination of things, including hormones. Some days they simply make him dysfunctional; other days they lead to vomiting and bed rest. A few weeks ago I started taking him to a chiropractor in town who I really respect. For 5 days after his first minor adjustment Lochlan had no headaches. Then, they started up with a vengeance over Christmas. So, I am taking him twice a week for a couple weeks to get his body used to being in and holding his adjustments. He is also getting cold laser therapy there. His headaches have been almost non-existent for the past 10 days! He is so much more active and light hearted. 





I think the pain - all the pain - makes Lochlan's already arduous journey almost impossible for him at times. I feel like it's my job to find the answers, to alleviate his pain, to give him the path forward and to guide him onto that path in all the ways I don't know how to. To care for his tender heart - that is by far the hardest part. This job doesn't come with a training manual and I am so thankful for the people who have come alongside me to make it possible. Aunt Debbie, Aunt T, Allie, Brooklyn, Lauren and Ron - how I have come to depend upon them! He is reading, spelling, learning math, and writing. And most incredibly, he is speaking words that are understandable! 



On the impossible days, I find my strength and the fortitude to carry on when I wander in the wild places. Sometimes I wander alone and sometimes a boy or two will accompany me. In those times, I'm able to set aside the weight of what I cannot change. I find I actually absorb what is beautiful; it gives me the next step. 














1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I find the same in our forest. ❤️