Tuesday, February 06, 2024

The mountains are lost

The mountains are lost in the snow this morning. The sun is struggling to show itself through the thick winter clouds that are blowing in; I almost wondered if it was just going to opt out this day to show itself and light up our world. I woke up entirely too early as the wind howled past our little stout round house, throwing rain against my (already very dirty) windows. It was completely silent inside, except for Aberdeen snoring next to me. Everything in the creation around me shouts of the incoming storm, but inside the eight walls of this place we call home, it is warm and comforting. 

There are reminders all about of the wild places I love: the lamp I built out of a stump found on my hill, the wall art of my beloved tree, the volcanic rocks lining our indoor garden, the wildflowers in the indoor garden that came from seeds I collected from my hill. I may brave the elements and go to the wild places this morning before the storm is fully upon us, just to SEE and BE. :-) 

We are all slowly recovering from our viral nuisance. Declan just returned on Sunday from his first solo (without brothers) ski trip with his Ankie Tae in Wyoming and yesterday we celebrated 14 years of Madigan. In the past week, the love that these boys have for each other has been so evident. While Declan was gone, Kelton and Madigan talked about him almost constantly, called him everyday to just hear his voice and told me at least 45 times how much they missed Declan. Lochlan fussed a lot and had trouble sleeping every night Declan was away. When we were planning his trip, Declan's primary concern was to make sure he was back in time to celebrate Madigan's birthday with him. 

Celebrating a 14th birthday is a bittersweet event for a mom - the tiny human that was placed into my arms just yesterday (😁) is one step closer to manhood. These markers in life are important because they remind us that time is marching forward and that we are changing in step with it. How do we successfully go from holding them in our arms almost constantly, tending to their every needs, savoring their tiny humanhood in all that it represents, to standing them upon their own two feet to be all that they are intended to be? This boy/man  does not belong to me though he will always hold my heart completely; my responsibility is to build into him the tools that will allow him to become whom he is to become. The love is complete from the beginning and yet it grows greater and deeper with each passing day, month, year. Another miracle that cannot be explained. 

So, today, I marvel and I will reflect on all that I behold. 

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