Thursday, October 06, 2022

Going on when you don't have the strength

 "Courage is not having the strength to go on; it's going on when you don't have the strength." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

The fatigue. It's just constant. I wake up feeling ready for the day and by the end of each day in all it's fullness, I'm T.I.R.E.D. The task lists for almost every hour of every day in this season are detailed and complex. The balancing game of pacing ourselves to not push past exhaustion while simultaneously juggling all the stuff of life right now is one of the most challenging aspects of it all for me. 

One day, we set it all aside for an hour and drove to the other side of the Peaks just to sit, stare, listen and be. The boys threw rocks in an obliging pond. Kelton was mesmerized by the wild grasses. I fell asleep underneath a pine tree. The only sound was wind in the aspens and birds chattering. We soaked the beauty and stillness into our bones. None of us wanted to leave. 

We've been working on gathering rocks for our gabion walls that we are going to put along the driveway to the octagon which is still washed out. However, the real priority this week was getting enough fencing up to get the horses moved over here and to get the barn dug out so that we can open the stall doors again. There was 2+ feet of dried mud in front of the doors and in the stalls we've removed almost 12" of mud. The mud is like cement and it's jarring to break loose. One stall is completed, and the other is about halfway completed. We can, however, open the barn doors now, thanks to Max who dug out the majority of the debris in front of the doors. I'm raking the stalls once they're cleared of the mud, spreading out sand and then placing down rubber stall mats. We've almost uncovered the stall mats in the second stall, but they are still partially buried. Apparently we can't get this horse house finished soon enough... Devany keeps trying to move into our house. We have to hide the apples in case she walks in and helps herself. She might struggle with some entitlement issues. 

I haven't seen my hill enough, so tonight I went with Kelton to say goodnight to the sun for this day. That place never disappoints! If you want your whole world to feel different, you just have to look up. I stood with happy tears trickling down my face and Kelton sighed and grabbed my hand. He said, "Mom, it's a magical place." Yes... 

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