Resilience

 

Kelton woke me up at 4:00, super restless, stuffy nose and generally unhappy. I tried to get him settled back to sleep, but once that mission was finally accomplished an hour later, I was thoroughly past going back to sleep myself. So, I made a cup of tea, de-weeded the outdoor flowerbed that didn't get covered by mud, planted some wildflower seeds and then made breakfast. I've scheduled my day around the incoming monsoon storms predicted for this day. I rushed to the big house to get it cleaned post-guests and before the incoming guests arrive. Then, I rushed home in the rain to find Lochlan throwing up all over the house. He's still throwing up so this is likely to be a long 24 hours. 

So far, today, we have dodged the bullet and had mild rain with minimal runoff. We're all hoping it stays that way. I parked my 4-Runner in front of the A-frame (on the East side) in hopes that if flooding comes (from the West side, down the mountain), the walls and house will keep the water from being in a position to get to the 4-Runner. Of course, it may be the mud alone that makes the decision to park here a poor one - if it rains too much or the rivulets in the driveway get carved deeper from the water flow, getting out may be tricky. Parking at my parents' house 1/2 mile up the road is the safer bet, but a bit inconvenient, especially when it's raining and I really am not looking to sing in the rain. :-) 

I've started gathering rocks from around the property and piling them inside the barricades to reinforce the barricades and to start accumulating what I will need for the rock walls I will need to build over the next several months. I'm designing a plan for the property to start restoring it, but it's a long-term plan. I don't think it will take me less than 2 years and that's with the miracle of acquiring the right equipment. 

I have been watching the boys a lot through this process. They've each commented that I've been a little edgier with them than usual. I had noticed but I'm sad to know that they had noticed as well. They assured me that I haven't been too cranky, but that I haven't had as much patience as usual. :-) I think they're just being gracious. They are holding up incredibly well. We have put them through a tremendous amount of change and it appears that we are likely to have even more changes ahead in the coming months. For the most part, they have adapted like pros, shown incredible flexibility and their hearts are full of courage and hope. They have exhibited perseverance even when they are tired and they have a willingness to pitch in to help even when it's not expected. 

I do believe that living with Lochlan has given each of the boys an incredible resilience. It's less obvious when the world treats us in a civilized way - there are the normal childhood spats, irritations and general human failures. When the world starts hurling mud, wind, fire, rain, and a whole bunch of crap (literally and figuratively) their resilience and strength of character is boldly illuminated. They stand up tall, support each other, watch over Lochlan when the challenges he bestows upon us are elevated during change of any kind, and they press on. I NEVER see them wallowing in self pity. They seem to anticipate the future even during the darker seasons, and they are incredibly creative in finding solutions to hardship where those solutions can be found. 

May we continue finding strength through our weaknesses and through our challenges. I hope that our courage will be greater because we have known genuine fear and pushed past it. I hope that I will always find joy in the things that are beautiful: 

• in the friends who have abundantly used their time and resources to make life easier through this season, rebuilding driveways (time and again), reinforcing walls to hold back the water, removing destroyed fencing covered in mud and rocks so that I can start rebuilding post-monsoon. 
• in the little bucket gardens we have on our porch which give us a bountiful harvest. 
• in the paintings that are given to us each day in the skies above us. 
• in the (generally) happy hearts that I live with. 
• in the wild places that hold my heart. 

Until this race is run...