Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Tolerable, but I can choke it down

Last night: 


12:00 Wind blows over trash can outside. I dash out in underwear and a t-shirt to pick it all up before it blows to the neighbor's house. It's raining/snowing and I freeze to death in the process.  


1:00 Winston barfs. Again. And again. And again. Deer bones. 


2:00 Lochlan wakes up and laughs out loud (very out loud) and keeps laughing out loud... for hours. Goes to the bathroom. Takes a shower. Goes outside with almost no clothes on. Raids the fridge. Slams our bedroom door So. Many. Times. Plays audio books very loudly. Plays with his Curious George Jack-in-the-box 2,000 times, laughing hysterically every time it pops open. Raids the fridge again. Slams the toy box.  


3:00 I go to the bathroom and fall off the last step on the ladder. Ouch. Mostly unhurt, but still... Ouch. And "Hello adrenaline". 


4:15 Bumpy (Skye) barfs. Again. And again. Deer bones.


4:38 I go down to get Jack-in-the-box from LJ. Step in a pile of vomit I had previously failed to clean up. 

Instant tears. Sigh.  




Some days (nights) are rougher than others. That was actually two nights ago... I dreaded facing the day ahead but the day was remarkably abundant and I went to bed last night with a full heart.

Lochlan continues to astound us with his efforts to communicate using words! Real words! He reads over our shoulder, saying his letters and then when we say the word, he tries to repeat after us. I have said for 6 years that if he learns to talk all my dreams will have come true. Hearing his voice, using words, is magical and miraculous. I scarcely dare to hope... I've longed for this so long. I frequently cry tears of joy these days as he fights so hard to be heard and understood. It's beautiful. 

I've been taking Kelton on solo hikes to new locations and having him navigate and lead us up the hills, following various deer trails to the top. Then, he shows me what direction he thinks the car is located in, and leads the way back. He hasn't been wrong yet! His sense of direction is really becoming more well developed and he's (slowly) gaining confidence, which is half the battle. 

He told me tonight that his bowl of soup was "tolerable, but I can choke it down". Praise indeed! :-) He is becoming decidedly more opinionated, but still lacks wisdom that comes with maturity, so (unfortunately, for him) he still requires a fair amount of parental guidance. 

As we were driving, I caught Kelton staring at me. He said, "Mama, I cannot wait until your hair is silver. It will be so beautiful." I laughed out loud and told him that his opinion gives me great confidence in aging and that I'm very glad to have his opinion. :-) He continued, "Mama, I think we get wrinkles when we smile, so you should be glad that you have more wrinkles when you're old, because it means you have smiled a lot." Okay, so in some ways he might have more wisdom and maturity than most adults. 

If I want a good photo of Declan William, I usually have to take it without his knowledge. This morning, during teatime, he was ardently listening to Dad talk about Science (Meteors, Ice Age, etc.) and I was captivated by his face. :-) So, I stole the opportunity to capture it on camera. 

Madigan is a good man. He struggles sometimes with the boy who wants to be a man, and with the man who is held back by the boy within. Today, he struggled with his attitude, getting frustrated by things that weren't going the way he planned for them to go. He was less-than-gentle in responding to his brothers and I pulled him aside to remind him that kindness and gentleness really is valuable. About an hour later, he wandered into the house looking quite morose. I waited for him to initiate conversation, which he did: "Mom, I'm so frustrated with myself. I know that I set the example for my brothers and that even when I don't want him to, Kelton does what I do. I let my frustration take over today and I really don't want to do that. I want to teach Kelton to be kind and to work hard. It's just so hard." Like I said... he's a (really, really) good man. 

We find so much strength and inspiration in the wilderness that is our playground. Watching the boys (and cousin Kaysee) find joy and delight in our adventures brings me endless happiness. :-) It's definitely a shared abundance! 

And now... we're wonderfully tired. So, goodnight dear everyone. 


kmac said...

You are an amazing person

Jeanniebird said...

Eryn, you inspire me. Thank you.

Cassie Bounds said...

You are truly amazing!

Unknown said...

Beautiful,Erin, just beautiful...