Tuesday, December 22, 2020

I don't always love you well


In life, there are mornings and there are evenings. There are seasons that we anticipate and dread. I think we are given seasons as a reflection to all of life. The winter happenings that determine your day in a winter season of your life may help prepare you to be strong and ready for the spring season in your life - full of hope and promise, new life and beauty in the breath of it all. Or, maybe the winter season weakens you so that when spring arrives you are able to see it for the first time and prepared to embrace all that it has to give you. 

Some days I feel like I can see you - the real you, the one that is not obscured by so many things. I see your joy, your pain, your potential, your love, and I see so much of what you have been promised in this life. 

And sometimes, I see a shadow of you. As with all shadows, it is distorted and out of proportion. I recognize you, but I don't fully see you. My vision is warped by the fatigue that winter births, by my own bias which is so easily nurtured in my carelessness, by pain that was most often inadvertently administered, by hope delayed or obliterated, by the trauma of every day life. 

I don't always love you well. I want to, but I invariably fail. I love you immeasurably. I love you more than I know how to understand. 

I am your mama. I am your wife. I am your daughter. I am your sister. I am your friend. 


Ginger said...

Aptly put and certainly rings true for me to all those I love. May God continue to work in our life and strengthen us for each new moment as we walk through this imperfect but redeemed life.🥰🙏

teona said...

You are a dearly loved niece. You are a beloved cousin. We love you beyond measure!