Friday, June 08, 2007

This vacation's Top 11 - Caution, Long Read

1. Sonic Music Marathon

How do you know you live in a small town? When the highest form of entertainment is the music blaring through your speakers as you careen around the corner at the Sonic drive-in. Whoo Hoo! Whilst stopped for 10 minutes to get a healthy, fresh Coney dog in Fort Stockton, we had the pleasure of observing 14 low-riders cruise past us with their windows down and their volume up. Makes you wanna’ live in a small town again (not so much)!

2. 4 frappucinos and your disgusting head

“Your Disgusting Head”… yeah, that’s the title. As Jessica brilliantly observed, perhaps the best way to truly appreciate the book is to drink 4 frappucinos first (note: recommendation based on personal experience). Nevertheless, Jess and I managed to thoroughly entertain our disgusting little heads with the book for over an hour, minus the 4 frappucinos.

3. Rental Car Ridicul(ousness) - Coming soon to a YouTube near you!

How long does it take one blond, one mom and two “Lizzies” (ever seen Pride and Prejudice?) to pick out a rental car? Well, we set out to break any previously known record while finding a car to drive for our entire 12 hours in Denver:

Scene 1: Mom scans the horizon of available mobiles, only to happily settle on the most obnoxiously ugly one on the lot, which we now lovingly refer to as the “Roach”. Once all luggage is satisfactorily loaded into the vehicle all three daughters whine miserably enough to cajole mom into settling on vehicle option #2, which we now lovingly refer to as the “Red Baron”.

Scene 2: All 4 women clamor around the new prize vehicle, only to discover that opening the trunk poses are formidable task. After pressing every visible button to no avail, one said “Lizzie” considers the “remote” possibility and pronto! the trunk opens. All luggage is again satisfactorily loaded and off we go… but wait a minute… so far only mom is seated in the vehicle and all doors are soundly locked. After considerable counsel amongst those still remaining on the outside, mom is successfully advised on how to open the remaining doors and everyone is belted and ready to go… or are they?

Scene 3: “This car sits too low and is a safety hazard to any God-fearing SUV driver." Exit all four women + luggage. The Roach again becons Mom. All luggage is satisfactorily loaded into said Roach and off we go… or… “did someone die in this car?” Everyone gasps for air, grabs their nose and with all remaining hands, exit people + luggage from said vehicle.

Scene 4: Is it possible? Indeed… 20 minutes have passed, but the four said females have securely landed themselves in a large, black, gas-sucking sedan that sits high enough off the ground to satisfy the SUV snobs and is new enough to satisfy the olfactory sensitivity of certain un-named.

4. Denver Train to Nowhere

Okay, we’re good on time, going to make it to the wedding with minutes to spare, but isn’t that a train ahead? Well, like we said before, we have minutes to spare, so we won’t sweat it… we’ll just sit here patiently like all the other civilized folks around us… and we’ll wait, and we’ll wait… is that train actually moving? and we’ll wait… is that train going backwards? and we’ll wait… is that train going forwards? Okay, alternate road must be found because the train is making no progress in either direction. Alternate road leads to beautiful office park with no outlets. Now, we’re not just racing time, but we're back to the train… wait, it’s moving… or is it? Yeah, but now it’s moving the other direction… Alternate route #2 here we come! Sweet success! We’ve outsmarted the directionally challenged, road-blocking train and we’re very possibly going to make the wedding on time despite our best efforts!

5. 11 mile hike up West Fork

See photos on Krista’s blog - need we say more?

6. 500+ photos to show for it

We’re out to prove the digital rocks! Well, we've certainly proven that this new digital camera was worth every penny! Think of the memories we’ve preserved for all of history!

7. Mountain Elevation Nearly Kills Hikers

We love to hike – it’s true. But, we realized on this trip how much our love for hiking is not equivalent to our body’s ability to fulfill our dreams of mountain conquering. Of course, it was just the altitude, we shamelessly assured ourselves. At least we were in it together… walk for 2 minutes, stop for 3 minutes to breathe, walk for 2 minutes, stop for 3 minutes to breathe and so on so forth. It was invigorating!

8. Long-lost cousins

It was amazing to see our cousins again, after a nearly 6 year absence from one another. The wonder of re-kindled relationships cannot be overestimated! We love you cousins!

9. Hot chocolate by the campfire

Mmmm… good. Wake up on cold morning after a restful night sleeping under the stars and fill up tummies with warm, dark hot chocolate and marshmallows on top = recipe for contentment.

10. Nose-barking at the coyotes

Valiant will tell you that if you bark through your nose (think, “Oof”, whispered) it doesn’t count as a bark. Thus, you can’t technically get in trouble if you “oof” (whispered) all night.

11. Topless guys in London, Texas

No shoes, no shirts allowed in London, Texas. All men in London, Texas, were topless as we meandered through on our way home from this scintillating vacation. So, if you’re out for some sightseeing, we recommend starting at the West side of town until you reach the east side of town. There will be plenty to see, but you can bet shirts won’t be top on the list.


Syme said...

1) actually, Liisa was the one with the frappucino observation ^_^
2) aren't we...2 Lizzies, not Janes?

...otherwise, this is HILARIOUS ^__^

p.s. Nevermind the "Syme" thing. You know it's the disgusting little moose. luv yeeew!

McBean said...

Ahhh, indeed. Krista discovered the Lizzie/Jane mistake, as well, so you will see that it has been promptly repaired. So sorry... your beard is SO fuzzy, I mean, so fuzzy.

Straubles said...

I LOVE IT!!!!Splendid job my dear Lizzies and one Jane! I finally stumbled upon a virtual treasure trove of the fascinating and delightfully amusing McCaleb clan. I'm quite indebted to Jess for giving proper credit where it is due; however I must confess that I have never consumed 4 fraps while reading Haggis-on-Whey! ;-) Sigh. Someday perhaps...

Lippy said...

I must say...the time invested in the 'long read' was worth it. I loved all the adventures relayed in detail!