It is not the experiences which change us

 

In 2022, during the flooding horror, Declan and Madigan, scraped together their funds and purchased a delightfully soft stuffed bunny which I have slept with every night since. They had seen me eyeing it when we visited the store a few weeks prior and they were insistent that I should have it. Yesterday, I walked into the bedroom to find the arms ruthlessly ripped off of the bunny, which was lying on the floor in a corner. When I confronted Lochlan about the incident, he giggled and made it clear that he was the culprit of the crime. I was both hurt and unbelievably frustrated because I simply don't understand the motivation or his subsequent pleasure. I was able to take some time to derive an appropriate and effective reminder to encourage him to choose kindness and better choices. In the backdrop of all the drama, my subtle, action-oriented first born hunted for the missing arms and sewed them carefully and seamlessly back onto the poor little fuzzy amputee. These young men take such good care of their mama's heart. 

On our way through the woods one day we passed by an abandoned campsite and the boys pledged to clean it up the following week. So, last Friday on their "day off" from school we hooked up the flatbed trailer, put on some gloves and headed out for the cleanup. It was the absolute WORST campsite we've tackled to date. There weren't any hypodermic needles this time, so that was a plus, but these people were incredibly gifted at DEPLORABLE. My dad joined us for the job, bringing his trailer as well. It took us a lot of hours and we took 3 trailer loads to the dump, including 7 broken-down high quality tents filled with personal items, containers of food, 5 bag of unopened dog food, cat litter, opened and unopened bottles of Gatorade, broken radios, bags and bags of mildewed clothing and all topped off with feces and urine. I didn't hear a single complaint about the work and these boys treated the venture as if it was just "another day on the job". Gosh, I'm so dang proud of them. 

Lochlan was having a rough day and Declan wasn't feeling well. I walked in from the barn to find Lochlan curled up on the couch listening to Declan read him his favorite book. Selfless love. It's beautiful. 

 

The everyday grind hasn't kept us entirely from our adventures this past week. We've been working with the horses a lot, taking walks, riding, driving, teaching horse trailer etiquette (loading and unloading with ease), ground work and learning how to jump over logs. I love watching the boys bond with their horses and learn a lot about themselves as they teach these huge animals. I'm being thoroughly challenging and loving training Sadie Rae. She's a lot of horse and the more I get to know about her, the more I'm impressed. She's a magnificent, complicated, sensitive, smart and curious animal. I'm also learning things about myself in the process of opening her up to discover her potential. 

Ultimately, I don't think it's our experiences which change us; it is our responses to those experiences. 

I'm thankful for another day, for the people who fill my life, for the places I'm allowed to explore and know, for the One who is in and through it all.