Sometimes, I wake up in the early morning hours knowing that I must write but not actually knowing what I am to write. I am privy to so many incredible things each day and I store them away to remember when I sit down to write, but my brain functions more like a colander these days. So, I sit... the pressure percolates because the momentary treasures I have been witness to may or may not come to my recollection when I need them to. There are too many, and with time at a full gallop I hold them about as effectively as I would sand through my fingers.
Right now I am sitting in the upper story of a house that sits along the Oregon coast. We can see the waves and we can hear the waves. The smell of the sea permeates and it compels me to venture outdoors. I am on a "sisters trip" with my twin, my Mom and my Aunt Teona. Stepping outside of my world into this 4 day world feels like a complete and thorough reality shift. I have slept the past two nights entirely through the night without waking. I'm constantly looking for where I need to pick up, clean up, repair something, water something, feed something, meal prep, or organize (again). Instead, there is time to read, reflect, consider. The quiet and rest is nice. The peace is needed. I think I'm soaking up the beauty of this place into the marrow of my bones.
I miss the hustle and bustle of my life, though. I miss the chaos of keeping 4 young human men in existence. I miss watching their sleepy faces wander out of the bedroom for morning tea. I miss hearing them share their hearts, watching them galavant across the fields, take Lochlan for endless rides with the lawn mower/trailer, ride the Zipline for hours on end, wrangle their flock of chickens. Life is full. It is crazy. It is utterly exhausting. It is messy (and dirty and cluttered and gross). And it is beautiful.
The reflection is easy here. The power of the sea is compelling. I am savoring this short 4 days, absolutely
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