Tuesday, September 04, 2018

it hurts at every turn. YET!

It's all good. Who are we kidding? It's not all good, by a long shot. Life is hard. It hurts at almost every turn. 

Every day (for weeks), I begin writing again, to share the every day happenings of this magical life, to archive the details that are so important in making us who we are (and are becoming) but are so easily forgotten. And each night, as darkness descends and the stars arise, not a word has been written and the energy inside me is utterly tapped. We have faced a fairly unrelenting onslaught of challenges, and it feels like there has been no short effort to derail us (as individuals and as a family) from doing what we are supposed to do (in life, daily endeavors). Severe head injury, crushed fingers, interrogations from DCS on our parenting of a child with ASD, deaths of animals, nightly panic attacks (Kris), near tragedies... 

YET! We are surrounded by endless beauty and He is restoring our souls, each day. I see kindness and love flourishing in the hearts of my boys, health coursing through their bodies/minds/hearts, raw joy that can not be bottled. I feel hope and I see hope in their eyes each morning when they awaken to discover what this - a new - day holds for them. I see Lochlan slowly, but most definitely finding a little bit more of himself each day. I hold my breath and wait for the butterfly that is cocooned inside his beautiful self to emerge and I wonder what colors he will show the world. I see Kelton pushing against every perceived or imagined constraint (guideline) to understand who he is and how he fits into his world, reaching ever forward to BE and to BE KNOWN. I see Paugie seeking knowledge with a deep hunger, loving others with every fiber of himself so effortlessly, so completely unaware of how he fills the empty cups of the broken hearted/lonely, and how he inspires us all to be kinder and more genuinely selfless. I see Madigan leading so much more by example than by force (finally :-), inspiring his brothers to much greater things than they might consider on their own, and challenging his parents to be better humans in our actions and our words.  

Our almost daily rides together have been a great source of delight for each of us. Lochlan rides Devany and is completely thrilled when he sees Kelton riding Fancy (with Madigan leading). Lochlan feels a particular kinship to Kelton, and I think he feels that this is something they are sharing in together... he looks back at Kelton, particularly when we're trotting down the trails, laughs out loud and it is clear that there is no where else he would rather be. 

Aberdeen, my treasured canine companion, is faithful and devoted and even takes time to smell the flowers! She is truly the dog of a lifetime. I pinch myself. :-) 

And Fancy and Devany... we are rich (and I am most definitely not referring to monetary wealth :-). 

Man and his dog. 

Brothers who ride together stay together. :-) 

Bobbi Devs. Special in every way.

Deedo Dog (Aberdeen :-)

Big brother coaching littlest brother. Melt. Me.

Lochlan checkin' back on Kelton. 

Just a girl with a flower in her hair.

THE Mama H.

Not posed at all. :-) She's just that beautiful.

The hills are alive with flowers.

1 comment:

teona said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I knew you didn't loose your voice. Your words were just hibernating for a season.:-) Your words are like a soothing potion to me.💕 I love you!